Seafoam Islands

Wait WHAAAA!?

That’s right, movies. I’m not limited to video games. This is my blog and I’m going to blog about whatever I damn well please. No need to worry though, They’ll still video game related things I’m just broadening my blog’s scope.

Johnny Mnemonic starring Keanu Reeves and Dolph Lundgren: two of the greatest actors to walk God’s green Earth…right? Let’s not forget the riveting performance by Ice-T as J-Bone; does that man love letters in his name or what.

I don’t want to say the story is a convoluted mess of events because the story is pretty simple to understand. In the high-tech future big corporations rule everything and there are resistances comprised of “low-techs” (poor people of the future) and information is currency that is transfered in the brains of people with mnemonic devices (get it?) implanted in their brain.

There is a debilitating disease called NAS that is plaguing the world and Johnny (Keanu Reeves) is carrying the cure in his brain. The problem his his brain is only wired to carry 160 gigs and the information he has to carry is 320 gigs so he now runs the risk of synaptic leakage unless he can get the data out.

The pharmaceutical company literally wants Johnny’s head and the Yakuza get involved somehow…Dolph Lundgren is a crazy Jesus loving cyborg that gets killed by a dolphin…Keanu Reeves gets plugged into the Matri…”internet” a couple of times…and the chick from Star Ship Troopers is in the movie too. Like I said, it’s not a convoluted mess of events.

I can't make this stuff up

Keanu Reeves brings his special brand of acting to the scene which meshes well with cheesy CG effects that look like what I imagine a 2001: A Space Odyssey video game would look like on the Nintendo 64.

The movie is based on short story of the same name by William Gibson which is probably a lot more coherent, enjoyable and Reevesless.

For movie reviews I’m going to let the review speak for itself and not assign it a numeric value. I will, however, be summing up my opinion in a sentence or two at the end for those of you who can’t find the time to read the 4 short paragraphs above…

Should you see Johnny Mnemonic? I’m not going to lie, the movie had some enjoyably bat-shit insane things in it that should be viewed at least once in a lifetime regardless of how bad the movie actually is but ultimately I’d say you can skip this one.